Holiday Plans, Part Three: Chestnuts Roasting...
Holiday Plans, Part Three: Chestnuts Roasting... is the final episode of the Red vs. Blue special Holiday Plans. Characters Red Team *Sarge *Grif *Simmons Blue Team *Tucker *Caboose *Epsilon Other *Soldier Plot Sarge is relaxing on the beach at Zanzibar. When he receives a call from Simmons, who is saying the Blues are attacking them because they got moved with the Reds to the holiday base they were given and Grif has joined all religions to get the entire month of December off. But Sarge offers no advice to them and hangs up on them for a Limbo contest. Simmons tries to reason ceasefire with the blues who are really only attacking them to stay warm.Simmons then offers that the Reds and Blues team cease fire in the season of holidays. Tucker and the blues agree. Part 3 ends with the Reds and Blues standing near a burning Warthog and a pine tree they had turned into a Christmas tree, sharing stories about their experiences with each other Transcript Fade in to Zanzibar, where Sarge is relaxing on a deck chair Sarge: Huah. Soldier: ' Scuse me Sergeant, but I have an urgent phone call for you. Sarge: Phone call, me? Are you sure? Soldier: Fairly, there was quite a bit of panicked screaming. Sarge: Alright, I'll be right there. Hey cool, an ice battle. The Blues are attacking the Red Base Grif: They just blew up our Warthog. No, wait, it looks okay actually. ... Okay, that one got it. Simmons: When Sarge answers the phone, let me do the talking. Grif: Man, that burning jeep looks really warm. Simmons: Don't even think about it. Sarge comes on the video phone Sarge: Hey, what's all this about a burning jeep? I thought I told you not to burn the equipment. Simmons: Oh hi Sir. Sorry to bother you during your vacation. Sarge: Don't worry about it Simmons. Nothing to do around here but sunbathe all day. Grif: You were sunbathing in your armor? That doesn't even make sense. Sarge: Still, maybe Command was right to send me away. It does feel good to get a little R&R. And R. Simmons: What's the third R for Sir? Sarge: Reporting! Paperwork is the backbone of any good relaxation period. Simmons: Um, if you say so. A grenade hits the base Grif: Incoming! Simmons: I told you already, you're supposed to say thatbefore the shells hit us. Sarge: Hey, what's going on there? Simmons: Command moved us to a base with no heat, and the Blues are attacking us because they were moved with us. Also, Grif has joined every religion so that he can get more vacation days. Sarge: I knew we should have removed that 'all of the above' checkbox from the enlistment form. Grif: Too late. Sarge: Doh, durnt. Simmons: Well, now he's incapable of helping in any way whatsoever during battle. Sarge: And how is that different from any other day? Simmons: ... That's a good point Sir. A shell hits the base. Grif: Incoming! Simmons: Dammit! Sarge: Simmons, you're in charge now. You need to take control. Simmons: How!? Sarge: Think of the holiday spirit, Simmons. That's why Command sent you there. Simmons: Holiday spirit!? Sarge: Yes. Don't you remember the classic holiday stories? What you wanna do is this: first, you build a big wooden baby savior. Then you and Grif hide in it, and place it outside the gates of Blue Base. When the Blues take it inside their facility, you detonate that baby with a thirty-ton tactical nuke, and wipe them from existence. It's a classic holiday tale. Simmons: I think you're getting your stories mixed up. I was thinking of a more peaceful solution. Sarge: Peaceful? I don't like the sound of that. You know what they say, you can't spell surrender, without P-E-A-C-E. Simmons: Yes you can. Sarge: Can you? Simmons: Yeah, there's not even a P in surrender. Sarge: Can you? Simmons: Hhh... No Sir. Sarge: That's the holiday spirit! Now get to nukin'. I gotta go, there's a limbo contest starting at 09:00. See you guys when I get back. Adios. Simmons: Hhh, well, I guess we're on our own. Grif: Do you want me to try to convert them to my religions? Simmons: No. Let's try something smarter for once. Simmons goes outside Simmons: Guys, hey guys cease fire, hold on a sec. Tucker: Yeah, whaddaya want. Simmons: Listen guys, I know fighting is what we do, but I was thinking it's the holidays. Do we really need to be fighting during the time of year when people all around the world are coming together in the spirit of brotherhood and good will? Tucker: Actually the only reason we're fighting you guys is to try and stay warm. We're afraid if we stop we'll die of hypothermia. Simmons: We're afraid of freezing too. So why don't we agree, just for a day, to set aside our differences, and work together in celebration of the season? Do you think we could do that? Just this once? Tucker shoots Simmons in the chest Simmons: Hey, what the- Tucker: Sorry, I had one bullet left in my clip. It seemed dumb not to use it. But yeah, we're down with the peace and brotherhood whatever thing. Cut to everyone huddled around a fire Simmons: See, this is what can happen when we agree to work together: nobody dies. Grif: Just do us a favor and don't tell our Sergeant about this when he gets back. Tucker: That guy is pretty nuts. Caboose: Yeah, we've had some pretty crazy times fighting you guys over the years. Grif: Yheah, remember the time Sarge got possessed by that crazy A.I.? Tucker: Hoho, or what about the time I got impregnated by that alien, ouch. Grif: Heh ha, alien baby. Simmons: Hey, remember when your sister crashed that ship on Donut's head? Caboose: Sometimes I have trouble talking to girls. Grif: Um... Tucker: Uh, Caboose this really isn't that kind of chat by the fire. We're doing somethin' a little different here. Caboose: Oh. Tucker: Yeah. Simmons: So, okahay, what about that time we all got beat up by that really mean girl? Grif: Yeah, where did you guys find her? She was kinda awesome. Caboose: I was never very close to my Dad. He worked a lot. Tucker: Okay seriously Caboose, you don't have to talk, it's not required. Caboose: Oh good, that's good. Tucker: Happy Holidays buddy. Caboose: You too. Trivia *Although Epsilon's Monitor body is present in the episode, due to the difficulties of filming in Forge Mode, it is never actually seen. *The soldier who alerts Sarge about an urgent phone call is voiced by Monty Oum, lead animator and choreographer for Rooster Teeth. Video Category:Holiday Plans Category:Special Episode Category:Episodes